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Hi everyone. Today I am reviewing Grace Through Fire by Deborah Samuel. This book is going to be published in October of 2026. I did get an advanced reader copy from the publisher, She Writes Press. That does not affect my review of course reviewing honestly.

The synopsis for the book heavily emphasizes that the author discovers that her mother has shot her father, who has for the author’s entire life been abusive to all of them. And so my impression was that the book would focus on what happens when one parent murders your other parent and how do you feel about it? Do you feel like the mother was justified because she was a victim? Do you feel sad for your deceased parent because they are also a victim of generations of trauma? How do you feel?

However, very little of the book focuses on that. The murder is more of a catalyst that compounds future trauma. For example, the author and her wife are building their dream home next to a lake. They live out in the middle of nowhere. I believe it was a 45minute commute for the author to get from her job as a teacher, meaning 45 minutes one way and 45 minutes back. And while they’re working on a deck, I believe, which they’re doing themselves to save $3,000, the author’s wife falls through a board and drops 17 ft down, breaks her spine, and is paralyzed, which completely changes their lives. Of course, going through a traumatic injury like that means Deborah Samuel becomes a caretaker to her wife. Her wife starts to feel resentment over being taken care of, and the relationship becomes toxic as a result.

In regards to that part of the book, it was harrowing. Like, I felt nauseated in a good way while I was reading because it’s so sad and confusing, and I’m trying to picture like what would I do if that had happened to my spouse and I was the caregiver, or what would happen if I fell and my spouse was caring for me. I did notice that the author used language that the disability community tends to consider negative. She says things like, “My wife was wheelchair bound,” whereas the disability community talks about how for them a wheelchair is a tool of freedom. It gets them around.

I don’t really see that as the author being mean. It’s that when the accident happened, she and her wife were in their late 30s and the kind of people who owned Harleys and jet skis, they were nature people, you know, and so their whole lifestyle has changed. It’s not going to be what it was before. Therefore, by comparison to the life they thought they would have, now it’s ceased. If you’re sensitive to that kind of thing, I will give you a heads up about the author’s word choices.

However, as time goes on, Deborah Samuel starts to acknowledge things like her wife is getting better at driving their specially outfitted vehicle. She’s getting better at being independent. And that’s part of the point of tension because Samuel admits that for her in order to stay above water, she has to control everything because her whole youth—her abusive father, her mother being abused and not doing anything about it, and her mother also saying some abusive things. For instance, one phrase that stuck out to me that came up several times was “don’t be a pussy, Deborah.” The author was very much raised in a macho-bury-your-feelings-take-control way. Just power through. And it gets to the point where the author acknowledges that that mindset is going to kill her.

Her life changes dramatically from there. And the whole final section of the book is how she comes through to the other side. I don’t want to give too much away. I mean, I don’t really feel like there are spoilers in non-fiction, but the journey is part of it.

Grace Through Fire a really addictive read because of the content and the way in which the author describes events as they happened. I felt like I was there. Even small details like when Samuel and her wife are moving into a new home for financial and accessibility reasons, and it’s raining the day that they move. They don’t want to move, and their two cats escape out the door. Deborah Samuel’s trying to find the cats in the rain and wrangle them, but her wife is saying hurry up impatiently. She finally gets the car, the cats are in the car, and then one cat promptly pukes in the back seat. Those little details where you’re like, “ohhhh,” like you can just feel them and relate to them.

I personally did feel a little bit bogged down in the introspection. At times it felt like it went on a little bit too long or repetitive almost like, “I learned this and then I learned this and then I learned this…” Furthermore, Samuel inserts claims of God working miracles and “speaking” to her. If you are an anti-Christian kind of reader, and I know I have some followers on the blog who are, this book would probably grate on you. It’s not always Christian. Sometimes it’s more spiritual. The author does not talk about a strong background in religion. I didn’t have a good sense of how often she went to church. Was she ever baptized? There’s no mention of organized religious practices. Thus, to be fair, it feels more like spirituality as opposed to like straight Christianity, though she does mention God several times.

I had lots of feelings about the ending, but I’m not going to write about those. I am going to interview the author, so maybe I’ll pose some of those questions to her, and we’ll see what she says. Overall, I do recommend this book. I found it really powerful and hard to put down. So, Grace Through Fire by Deborah Samuel, published by She Writes Press, and the publication date is October 6th, 2026. Make sure you get your copy.