Grab the Lapels

Sunday Lowdown #277

Nick and I discovered a new hangout at the Niles Brewing Company. Typically, I don’t like going to breweries regularly because I am not the craft beer person. I’m the ooooh-I’ll-try-these-fancy-fries-with-garlic-aioli-that-cost-$12-even-though-they’re-just-potatoes person. However, the Niles Brewing Company lets you bring in your own food if it is from a local, licensed restaurant. I can bring in my own favorite soda, and Nick can happily taste all the craft beers he wants. It’s not just a brewery, though, because if it were, we wouldn’t keep going so much: they have boardgame nights, trivia, music bingo, and a book club.

The book club has a group on Facebook, which is where I learned they do book bingo. I joined in late (it runs from Jan 1st to July 5th) and was able to fill much of the card with books I’ve already read. The challenging squares are thriller, YA, and rom-com. Once I finish reading The Runaway Heiress by Meg Tilly aloud to Nick, that will work for thriller. I just got the YA book done — I had bought it because it has a fat protagonist and author. Lastly, I picked up a new Jenny Holiday rom-com at the library, and thankfully, it sounds like it is a bit of depth. I can already see how the new book bingo card on July 5th will likely topple my 20 Books of Summer list, but that’s okay. I’m up for the opportunity to make a new list if need be.

I’m also hoping to make more “flesh friends,” as I like to call them, through the book club. The pictures on their Facebook page show a packed house on book club night, which is great. So many people are interested that they actually have a book club for the same book twice so people can make it to one or the other. It seems that Nick’s weekly poker group, established during lockdown, is also dwindling, so I’m hoping he makes new friends through these events, too.

Speaking of “flesh friends,” I did a bit of a caper. I noticed that when I pick up books on hold from my library, there is always someone with the same last name as me who has a ton of books on hold. It’s been this way for years, so just recently, I tucked a note into one of her books saying who I was, that I would happy to talk about books with her, and left my phone number.

She never texted, but she did manage to find me on Goodreads somehow, which is lucky because I almost never check Goodreads, and I pretty much never accept strangers’ friend requests. In this case, the account had the same first name (no last name listed) as the lady from the library, so I took a chance and assumed it was her. We’ve been writing back and forth through Goodreads messages, and Saturday we finally met in person. I had my fingers crossed the coffee date would be more like an Abbi Waxman novel and less like a Thomas Harris novel. She was not a moth-collecting murderer; she was lovely! She said it was surprising that I stuck a note in her book on hold and that she has not met any other people with our last name in the area. Honestly, it felt like a blind date, like we were trying to decide if we liked each other. To Be Continued…

I hope everyone has a lovely week. I want to note that I had the fight of my life trying to update my interpreting website and ended up having to revamp the whole thing. I think it has a cleaner look, and there is now a candid-shot photo gallery, too.

15th anniversary

36 comments

  1. Oh what a truly lovely and positive post – and yet still with a clear sense of who you are. I do hope you and Nick make some new “flesh” friends. I love the story about the person with your same name at the library. How great that she did get in touch. She was clearly cautious, which is sensible, but she gave it a shot.

    Who says you can’t change your 20 books of summer list. No-one, that’s who! It’s supposed to be fun.

    Love the 15th anniversary pic of you and Nick at the end. Congratulations you too.

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  2. Sounds like a great week! Your taproom sounds like one here, minus the food and bookclub, but ours closed just a couple of days ago. They had excellent beer and great trivia nights, so I was sad to see them go. I hope you’re able to enjoy many more expensive potatoes there!

    That’s kind of hilarious, but also lovely that you met someone via hold books at the library! I hope things go well for you there, too!

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    • The husband runs all the beer stuff, and his wife is the organizer-extraordinaire of all things events. I think she really brings a vibrancy to the place, bringing in people who may not even be beer people! So clever. Fortunately, the new brewery are not the expensive potato people. They’re the ones who let you bring in local food if it’s from a licensed restaurant.

      I met with the holds lady, and we got together at a coffee shop. We have a second date lined up! Yay!

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  3. WordPress apparently ate my first comment attempt. Happy anniversary!

    I admire your willingness to put yourself out there socially. It’s not easy. That interaction with the holds wouldn’t have happened at my library branch. We keep the holds in the back staff area and get them for people.

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    • I saw your comment, but it was anonymous! I’ll delete that one.

      Thank you! I’m hoping we make new friends at the brewery, but we may also just end up having fun date nights, so it’s a win in either corner.

      I do know of some libraries that have holds behind the desk, but I never understood that. Usually, putting something on hold means I want to put my car in park by the door, run in, grab my stuff, and flee to the next thing.

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  4. Happy anniversary to you and Nick!

    Flesh friends, I love that. How weird that we are in a time when there is such a distinction. Friends used to be just friends.

    James and I are the same regarding potatoes or anything else food for that matter. Recently it was a bowl of hummus with a couple falafel and some pita and I happily paid $15 for it and it turned out to be some of the best hummus I have ever had so 100% worth it! Also, James has been sober for 35 years so we don’t do breweries for any reason. Glad you and Nick have found a happy compromise!

    Also, your library holds story is fantastic! I would never think to do something like that. I hope you and library holds lady can become flesh friends and have fun talking about books and all sorts of other things!

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    • Typically, I do not distinguish between internet friends and flesh friends because I’ve known some of you for YEARS, and not only that, but I know so much about your lives. However, the distinction crops up for me when I want to see a movie or get coffee and I know literally no one in the area willing to do that with me. Then I think, “Oh, right, flesh friends. I need those.”

      Every time you mention James and his sobriety, I feel so proud of him, even though I don’t know him through conversation, and I’m also proud of you both for it continuing to be something you tell people and discuss. It makes the sobriety, in my opinion, that much more valuable and special. Our society hid so much when I was growing up: going to therapy, who you voted for, how much you were paid, if you were struggling with parenthood, etc. Now, we’re community resourcing our experiences.

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      • I get that! I think, oh I have all sorts of friends, and then I realize how few of them are ones that actually live near me and that I see in person.

        Aw that’s so nice of you to say! James is very open about his sobriety. I admire him greatly. Sometimes when he’s working at the bookstore someone will come in looking to buy the AA Big Book and James will tell the person that he is also a “Friend of Bill’s” and buy the book for them. Whenever he tells me he’s done that it makes me get so happy mushy inside and I love him even more 🙂

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  6. Happy anniversary! Your taproom sounds great – I wish we had an equivalent here, but although we have lots of community activities they all happen during weekdays. I’m trying to summon up the oomph to approach the local library and ask to start an evening book club or gaming group! Since I moved church, though, I do live much closer to a lot of other people in my congregation than I used to, and that is making it easier to make friends.

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    • I’m trying to picture the British taproom or pub, and always picture it as a place where everybody knows everybody, but they don’t have group activities. It’s true, many events are on weeknights. I used to think fun was for the weekend, but I realized that’s how I grew up, and obviously my parents had children, so how do you go out on a weekday? You typically don’t. Therefore, Nick and I will go out whenever.

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      • Oh, there’s normally loads of activities at a pub – just maybe not that organised, like darts. And the pub quiz is a long-standing and much-valued institution! Unfortunately my local is not a nice place – I’ve only been in once and I wouldn’t risk going in on my own.

        Weeknights would be all right! But I mean e.g. 2pm on a Thursday afternoon – they’re aimed at retired and unemployed people, really.

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      • Yes, we grew up that weekdays were workdays so you didn’t go out for fun at nights before a work day because you had to wake fresh and ready to be properly productive. If my parents went out at night it was to a meeting (church, school p&c like your pta, Rotary, etc). But in my time it was reading group, patchwork group, yoga, and a big one, concerts and plays. Not parties though with lots of eating, drinking, dancing.

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  8. Good for you for reaching out to make some “flesh friends”! It can be so hard to do that as an adult. Just this weekend I went out to a get together with a newer group of friends and I was surprised how nervous I was. I kept changing my clothes!

    We have a cidery in our neighborhood and even though I’m not much of a cider drinker, it’s one of my favourite spots because you can bring in outside food and there’s lots of outdoor space and a playground for the kids. It’s became a great local hang-out spot and those can be rare.

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    • Oh, boy, am I familiar with the clothes changing. For me, the solution was to have lots of clothes that I love and none that are saved “in case of X event” or “if I lose weight,” etc. If you’re happy in everything, you feel happy in everything. Then again, my mom looks cute in everything, and yet she will change her close (DETERMINEDLY) about half a dozen times.

      When you guys go to the cidery, what do you end up buying from them?

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  9. I’m usually pretty good about that too! This was a combo of shifting weather and being unsure of how dressy I should be. And my own insecurities, I suppose!

    I do get cider sometimes as they have a selection and there is one I like. They also serve a few local beers. In the summer we’ll walk over from our house and stop on the way to get slushies for the girls!

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  10. Congrats on your 15th anniversary! I am the exact same person you are at breweries. I eat the food and drink the non-alcoholic drinks haha

    I love this story of you meeting up with this fellow booklover. Let me say how incredibly brave that was of you to tuck the note in her book, that’s fantastic!!! Looking forward to hearing how this brewery book club goes too.

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