Grab the Lapels

So Thirsty by Rachel Harrison

Rachel Harrison’s novel So Thirsty looks like it might be about party girls or mom culture — the fact that I equate the two cracks me up — but drinking as a coping mechanism for young women is definitely a thing right now. Consider all the wall art you see about moms and wine. Instead, So Thirsty is about two women in their 30s, one married to a repeat cheater who loves her Dyson vacuum like it’s a hobby, and the other has an open relationship with a minor rock star touring Europe who went from girlfriend to band manager somehow. Although opposites, they have been ride-or-die besties since age fourteen. The wife — Sloane — is about to turn 36, so her husband contacts the band manager — Naomi — and plans to get them together for a girls’ resort birthday weekend.

Things quickly go wrong. Sloane realizes her husband used the weekend to have his side chick come over, and Naomi pushes Sloane to have wild-girl fun on the town. Although she knows he cheats, Sloane isn’t willing to leave her husband because she fears the unknown: “I’m not going to upend my life over it only to wind up miserable in a different way. It’s not worth the risk.” Naomi seems like too much in her Spice Girls-type outfits and tendency to chat up hot men while leaving Sloane behind, but Sloane is a wet mop.

However, it’s Naomi’s penchant for a good time that takes them to an unlived-in manse where they meet up with a handful of gorgeous, sexy Europeans (all apparently from different countries) where everything goes wrong. It’s not just the orgy they have planned, for which Naomi is excited, but the starving monster in the basement. Of course the hot Europeans are vampires; we saw the cover! We know the title: So Thirsty. But what’s with the creature in the basement?

I thought I saw the plot of So Thirsty coming from a mile away, but instead of being about Sloane falling in love with a brooding, ancient vampire while Naomi lives her party-girl dreams forever, it’s more like watching Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. The second half of the novel reads like an action-adventure story, though they are creepy elements. Of course there are; it’s a vampire novel, and not the sparkly kind. If anything, So Thirsty is more like The Lost Boys. While Sloane doesn’t change her personality immediately, she does undergo some thoughtful reflection about her marriage after opening the birthday gift her husband sent with her to open on her birthday, which is impersonal and she would never choose:

“A few days ago, I would have opened this gift and said Thank You. I would have plugged these stupid things into my ears and listened to podcasts about horrific shit happening to other people, or music—art made by other people—and I would have gone on being grateful for the airpods, until they inevitably broke or were lost within a year or two, and I had to get new ones.”

Harrison’s novel is more about figuring out what you want to do with your life and who you want in it, especially if the characters are facing eternity. The author teases out whether Sloane and Naomi will part ways so Sloane can be with the brooding vampire in love with her, or find out if ride-or-die friends last forever.

23 comments

  1. This made me laugh: “one married to a repeat cheater who loves her Dyson vacuum like it’s a hobby”. When I got my first Dyson stick vacuum I was in love and strangely from then on (15 or so years ago) I have done all the vacuuming, whereas before that, Mr Gums did most of it! And I’m not irritated. Somehow I don’t mind because I like using it. It’s a bit related I think to the fact that I like sweeping and raking too (and hate leaf blowing).

    Seriously though, this book sounds interesting and I get your point about these novels having something to say about humans and life issues. I probably still wouldn’t read it because I’m just not interested in vampires but I really enjoyed your review and I’m enjoying understanding more about genres like this . It helps me in conversations with other people and in my thinking about books and literature.

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    • Thank you, Sue! I love this comment so much and how you really engaged with my post by sharing a bit about your vacuuming past, hehe. I remember all the Dyson commercials from back when I had cable, and I wonder if they are still just as sophisticated now (the commercials) as they were then. You’d think only millionaires had Dyson, the way they advertised.

      I’m a big fan of reading blog posts about genres I don’t read because it keeps me up to date, too. I get a lot out of the Australian bloggers, there is a fan of the golden age of crime novels, and another person who reads a lot of ARCs but never anything old.

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      • I’m so glad you enjoyed my comment Melanie. I rather enjoyed writing it! I can’t answer about the ads. I can’t even remember the ads here, but I know that there are a lot of stick vacuums around now that weren’t then, so that might affect the advertising too?

        I don’t make a practice of reading blog posts about other genres, unless I really like the blogger! This is not because I’m not interested in keeping up with other genres, but just because of time.

        I

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        • Most people I follow on blogs read stuff that doesn’t interest me, if I’m being honest. I do think when we have an idea of who is reading our posts, we tailor them a little bit. For example, when I’m reviewing horror, I may emphasize who the book isn’t for and who should give it a try, and I’m thinking about the characteristics of my regular readers.

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            • There are a ton of bloggers who write about horror or fantasy, etc. but they seem to be younger, which typically means they’re numbers driven. It makes sense; younger folks grew up in a time when they were constantly told to perform for photos or videos that went on social media. The sheer number of parents trying to make something viral out of their families sickens me; therefore, I’m not surprised when I encounter bloggers in their 20s unwilling to create relationships over likes/stats. Now that I pause, I think the youngest blogger I follow is 36.

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              • Oh that’s interesting … and sad if it’s parents behind it. The world is such an interesting place. We can never second guess how something new will play out. And the role played by generational culture/differences in that. I feel sad though if numbers are more important than relationships. I look at my stats and get a kick when they jump but when they plateau or drop I wonder but I don’t bother. But of course I’m not monetising or trying to build a career around it!

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  2. This sounds like a bit of the same kind of vampire novel I read this week (The Buffalo Hunter Hunter) because the vampire story is also about serious issues and how we deal with them, human and otherwise.

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    • I love that people are taking back vampires from Stephanie Meyer. They don’t need to sparkle, but they can be super sexy. Just watch Interview with the Vampire. Well, to be fair, the book is not sexy at all and reads more like a religious/existential crisis novel.

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  5. I still haven’t read a vampire novel since Sookie Stackhouse (and I miss her). I rarely look at covers, so the reveal – that the ‘Europeans’ were all vampires – came as a shock. I hope the girls stay besties, and find happiness. Even a Dyson is no substitute for good lovin’. (Years ago I wrote about a Robert Sheckley short story in which a housewife is seduced by her vacuum cleaner – ‘Can You Feel it When I do This’, I think).

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    • Bill….I love this comment. I haven’t read the Sookie Stackhouse books, though I know you’ve recommended them to me a few times, because every time the name comes up, I’m already eyeballs-deep in some other series. I’ll add the first one to my TBR and hope I remember it when I’m done with the Lucy Kincaid books.

      You sure about that Dyson comment? Those commercials are pretty sleek. 🤣

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  6. This sounds like a fun book! It feels very ‘Grady Hendrix’ to me, am I getting this right? I have his new book with the lava lamp on my bookshelf right now. And I love lava lamps, which is one reason why I really want to get to it. Wow that was a bit of a tangent, sorry! Also, I love my dyson vacuum, I get it.

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    • I tend to struggle with Grady Hendrix books. They go on too long for me, which is probably why the only one I’ve finished and enjoyed was Horrorstör. I appreciate that he brought horror back into public awareness when he published Paperbacks from Hell, a collection about horror trends and the art on the covers of old mass-market paperbacks.

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