Grab the Lapels

Sunday Lowdown #292

I chose to write a Sunday Lowdown this week to share a few changes I’m making in my life and to give a brief update on what I’ve been doing since my last Lowdown. Firstly, here is what I’ve been up to in the last several weeks:

The Indiana Chapter of the Registry of Interpreters for the Deaf annual conference in Indianapolis. I learned how to interpret sex education, work with sexual and gender diverse communities, and did some speed networking.
I went to see Terrifier 3 in theaters at 10:00AM the morning it came out. DID NOT DISAPPOINT!
I baked a cake for Nick’s birthday/a friend coming over to watch Crawl, an alligator horror movie. That’s my blackberry frosting, lol.
Nick’s cousin Anthony, from California, and his wife, Sam, came to our area for a wedding–can you believe the wedding was so close to us??
I have found a few new book clubs! This is Spooky Book Club, hosted in a new independent book store, and we discussed Dracula. I made my blackberry frosting again, which matched the book perfectly! Photo by Glendora, a bookstore in Buchannan, MI.
Yes, I voted.
Nick and I, and another new friend, Ray. The three of us won 2nd place at Horror Movie Trivia at the Niles Brewing Company. To be fair, I answered all the questions except two (thanks Nick and Ray!), so my head was ENORMOUS when we left. Typically, we never win because folks get up to 30 points just for checking in on Facebook (and none of us have Facebook). We won on SMARTS! (okay, my horror obsession, lol)
Reading at a coffee house in Fort Wayne.
A conference all weekend in Fort Wayne, Indiana, where I learned how to interpret for Alcoholics Anonymous. It was an amazing experience. Also, AA is not nearly as religious as I thought. Your higher power can be electricity or gravity. With me are Diana and Karen, both interpreters.
“Fall is here, hear the yell…”

Now, for what is changing . . .

As I’m sure you’ve already assumed, I am rattled by the results of not only the American presidential election, but the republican takeover of all branches of the U.S. government. First, Nick and I tried to avoid politics. We put Predator in the DVD player and looked for all the meme-worthy moments, such as “stick around” and “get to da choppah!” Then, we tried to stay up all night and see the results, but the votes came pouring in through the wee hours, and we were asleep by 11:00PM.

Throughout the night, we both woke and checked our phones to see updated results — we didn’t wake at the same time, but shared this info the next morning. Before 7:00AM, I woke and saw that Donald Trump had won not only the electoral college, but the popular vote, too. Immediately, I closed my phone. When I finished cooking breakfast, I went into the living room where I usually watch CBS morning news, which has some great feel-good segments that I love, and instead changed flipped the TV to the streaming services section.

I do not pay for streaming. I have my beloved Tubi, which is free with commercials (a reasonable number and length, I might add), and put on The Craft. I don’t know how to explain teen girl friendships from the 90’s except to tell you to go watch this movie. I saw about 20 minutes with breakfast and then, leaving the TV on the streaming options, not returning the option to regular TV like I normally do, I turned off the TV. Then I sat and read. I went to the gym and read. I thought. I thought more. I fixated and catastrophized (a therapy word) briefly. I thought about how I wanted to respond to what happened in the U.S. on November 6th. I started gently texting people I love to tell them I will not be discussing politics, even when those I love completely agree with me politically. I just can’t hash and re-hash things. In fact, I don’t want to know.

It is true that an ignorant population is easily controlled, but I also know that from a psychology perspective, our brains were not meant to know everything happening around us all the time. Trump is chaos incarnate because we know everything he does all the time — because he can make announcements easily. A few years ago, Biscuit and I read a book called The Hardest Job in the World by John Dickerson that explained how many presidents of the past have said some seriously disturbing things on par with Trump, but the only difference was they didn’t have the internet, so a lovely aid would take their vile written announcement and put it in a drawer where it basically died from the president’s mind, then historians found it in presidential papers. Back when Hurricane Katrina ravaged Louisiana and Bush flubbed the recovery, I was 100% unaware because I did not have TV, the internet, and smart phones didn’t exist. Once I learned, I felt bad. That was the only difference. I wasn’t going to join the National Guard and fly down south to assist. Therefore, I am no longer keeping up with anything Trump is doing. Maybe I am being naive, but I am also a person with an anxiety disability, so if you think I’m burying my head in the sand, please know I consider that ableist when applied to me.

I have so many things I want to see and read, and I mostly run out of time for it. As I told Nick on November 6th, some of the choices I’m making to prepare for a Trump presidency will result in me becoming a happier person. Firstly, we will not be changing our TV option back to regular, network TV at all. It’s going to live on the streaming section. During meals when I typically watch TV (yes, we Americans love TV with our meals), I will watch part of a movie.

I already do this on Friday nights as I have learned that I cannot stay awake to get through my Friday Night Spooky Movie date (with myself) and end up finishing on Saturday morning with coffee. Now, I’m watching parts of movies any time I’m watching TV alone (I will not subject poor Nick to that much horror). I noticed when I turned on Tubi November 6th in the morning that all the top recommendations were very peaceful shows (I see what you did there, Tubi), including The French Chef with Julia Child, The Crocodile Hunter, and The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross.

Heck yes, spooky movies!

Second, there are many times throughout the day when we entertain ourselves briefly with the phone: in lines, in the bathroom, before we fall asleep in bed, that self-care bubble bath. I’m now reading in lieu of using the phone in that way. I’ve deleted Reddit, which often brings me joy but for months has been nothing but pro-Kamala, anti-Trump posts. On November 6th, people were shaming Redditors for living in an echo chamber because Trump won the most votes/electoral college. During the past ten years, I find myself marking out time in my calendar to read because I want to but don’t know when it’s “the right time” to pick up my book. It’s always the right time.

I’m gonna read so many fricken books!

Third, and I’m sure this is controversial, but I will not wish the Trump administration ill. If he can fix the economy, great. If he can bring jobs back to America by imposing tariffs, great. We bring in so many consumer goods from other countries cheaply by exploiting poor foreign laborers, and we buy too much crap. If tariffs increase the cost of things that are not necessities, maybe we all need to pause and ask ourselves what we’re buying, why, and does it contribute to global climate change. I know what I am saying is too simple, but this is what it is for me right now.

Good luck, everyone! Seriously!

Lastly, I’m asking you — I’m really imploring — that if you are going to write about the state of U.S. politics on your blogs, or you want to discuss your concerns about what Trump will do, please add a sentence before you get going that simply reads, “Now, I’m going to discuss U.S. politics in the next several paragraphs.” It’s a content warning, yes, but in an unobtrusive way. You are easily, almost invisibly, helping us with political anxiety to make our own decisions about how much we engage with what is going to be a messy, unbelievable — and everything Trump does is so friggen unbelievable that decent people cannot comprehend it — four years. Yes, I know he’s a felon. Yes, I know he said, “Grab em’ by the…” I know, I know, I know. I cancelled my NPR subscription about ten years ago because they could not stop talking about Trump.

#ContentWarning #MentalHealthAwareness

Please support your local businesses that protect LGBTQIA2S+ people. Please go out and engage in group activities that build community and compassion. Please read books and watch movies, go to workshops that teach you about gardening and try that new healthy tea that looks like swamp juice at the independent tea shop!

Find several clubs with like-minded homies!

On Friday, November 8th, I did look at news on Google for a moment because I had someone tell me I have to know what’s going on so I can support the people I love through their trauma. I replied that I cannot be that person, yet they were adamant. However, as soon as I read a Trump headline, I got a stomachache and clicked the X to close the page. I understand this is not going to be breezy. In fact, I had to find a new internship due to the election (I’m still going to Missouri) and lost my free housing. So yes, I understand.

Thank you for reading.

33 comments

  1. I love a good lowdown!

    That was my reaction to your election too, stop watching. In any case Australian news is just a choice of Murdoch, Murdoch plus and Murdoch lite (ABC), so there was never much point watching.

    Sorry for the election digs in at least two recent comments I can think of, I won’t do it again.

    I wonder if I can get someone to make me blackberry frosting (icing).

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    • So lovely to have a Lowdown Melanie but I’m sorry about the pain you are feeling. I will not talk US politics. I will say that our tradition when we go to Melbourne is to have dinner on the last night with our son. It’s a special time. He loves the free meal – it’s tough having a mortgage and two kids – and we love spending time with him. (I think he likes that a bit too!) Anyhow, my point is that he told us that he doesn’t follow politics anymore. It’s too grim, he said, and he can’t do anything about it. I was a bit horrified but I also understood – and I understand you too.

      I loved seeing your smiling face in several of the pics here. Keep smiling. It never does anyone any harm.

      Finally, my favourite Pollyanna-ish saying, this too shall pass.

      BTW Bill, there is a difference between frosting and icing, at least in Australia. Frosting is a little fluffier, like the cream cheese frosting for carrot cake. I can’t recollect but maybe Americans mainly make fluffy frostings for cakes, whereas we make both. Melanie, loved your alligator and blackberry frosted cake!

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      • We also have frosting and icing here. My grandma always used to ice her cookies, which surprised me because I didn’t know what the heck it was. I was only used to frosting! I used to think icing was so fancy, lol.

        If you want to talk about politics, you are more than welcome to, just not with me. I do not have the right kind of brain chemistry for it. So far, I’ve been feeling very good. I got a new internship and found a studio apartment in St. Louis on a cute street with sidewalks and a bookstore on the corner. I’m hoping they have a book club or other community-building events. I just ask that folks give their readers a little heads up so we can skip ahead. Since Tuesday, I have watched 4.5 movies and read quite a bit of my current novel plus short stories for my book club with Biscuit. I keep picking up these old 1970s-era mass market paperback books that look so small. They are not. The formatting will fool you! Hence, I have no yet finished a book this week, but I have read a lot more.

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    • Do you guys grow blackberries over there? If so, it’s a simple recipe! Although you have to get someone to think it’s a good idea to go poking around in thorns, too.

      Biscuit gets a lot more of the political stuff in her face due to her workplace and a lot of family members, yet she’s become very good at telling people she’s not talking about politics with them. Well, that was before the election; now it’s a little different, and she can explain if she wants to. But either way, she has served as a great example to me.

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      • Yes … blackberries grow wild but tend to be sprayed as a weed so we pick them at our peril. But berry farms grow them. A punnet (which is pretty small) though is usually expensive. Up to $7.99 … but can be $4.99 (rarely, if we are lucky).

        Good on Biscuit for being a great example.

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  2. I’m also trying not to talk about politics except in person, with local democrats who I’ve always organized with. I never watch tv news but now I’m skipping over anything about the election the way I’ve always tried to skip over anything that mentions or features a photo of the president-elect’s face. As you say, I’m going to get a lot more reading done.

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    • I do have Facebook, but I have zero friends. The point is to RSVP to local events and “like” pictures of dogs and babies and people in the military coming home to surprise their children. Over time, Facebook naturally curated a politics-free space for me full of happiness and great recommendations for what else is happening locally. I keep seeing holiday craft shows and parties and activities. I like that you can talk to a group of people you trust who want to talk about the same thing. I think some people forget that when we say consent is important, that includes topics, not just actions or touching.

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  3. I love that you are living your best horror-living life this week. That blackberry icing looks amazing! Would you share the recipe? It’s such a great colour!

    I am taking a media/news break too, at least for a while. I often think about how our brains are not meant to have access to so much constant information. Yes, it may be privileged to shut our eyes for a while but it is also good and necessary and we have to put on our own oxygen masks, so to speak.

    I hope this week is full of good things for you!

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    • The recipe is 1.5 cups of softened butter, 6 cups of powdered sugar, and 2 cups of berries. The recipe says you can use blueberries, strawberries, etc., but I use my blackberries. I put the fruit in first and then hit with my mixer until it’s all pureed. Then I add in the butter and sugar and continue mixing until it’s smooth. Sometimes, the frosting splits on me (meaning you can see little chunks of better separate due to the fruit), but I’m not fancy and do not care. One way to avoid splitting is to puree the fruit in one bowl and then beat the sugar and butter in another the stir in the fruit. I don’t do this because that requires two bowls LOL. Also, save some fruit for decoration if you want.

      It is funny that I originally thought about ignoring politics being a privilege, but it still caught up with me, and I lose my internship and free housing. I already found a new one and a studio apartment on AirBnB.

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  4. I respect and understand your decisions. Thanks for sharing your perspective! I wrote today a little bit about how I was feeling after the election. It’s in the first paragraph of my post today. Going forward, if I write about political things, I will give a trigger warning. I also will not be watching TV news anymore. I canceled my NYT subscription last month because of a cost increase, but I’m glad I did for other reasons too. During the last Tr*mp admin, I was obsessively reading about every little awful thing they did. I was in knots all the time. This time I will listen to the NPR podcast Up First and then maybe check their website once a day. That is the level of news information I feel comfortable with. You’re 100% right about our brains not being made to handle all the information we absorb. Hooray for books and movies! I want to turn to those things more too. Also, I want to create art. What kind of art I’m not sure yet, but I want to have fun with it. Joining a club or organization sounds like a great idea too! Sending you good thoughts always!

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    • Thank you for the heads up about your post from today. I saw it in my inbox but have not yet read it. Also, I think it’s so easy to give readers a heads up without making a big deal out of it. Just a simple, “up next, some politics” or whatever. If anything, it will look like a transitional topic sentence.

      I cancelled my NPR membership around 2016 because they started talking incessantly about Trump in 2014 when he said he was running (first it was all laughter) and then when he was sworn in, it was nothing but the Trump show. It was like nothing else was happening in the world. NPR still sends me letters asking me to join again. I’m thinking they’ve spent more on postage and paper than I ever donated. I believe in public media, but I just couldn’t.

      I know what you mean about obsessing over ever little thing. I did glance at the news on Wednesday and saw that everyone was freaking out because Trump took a family photo for his win that included Musk instead of Melania. And then Musk was invited to speak on the phone to Zelensky. People lost their minds. I tried to remember that Melania pretty clearly doesn’t love her husband (she won’t even hold his hand or live with him), and Musk did send StarLink to Ukraine at the start of the war. But see how everyone went bat-shit crazy immediately, saying Musk was going to have his fingers all over American politics? We don’t know that. If/when it happens, it happens.

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  5. I really think your plan for mental wellness during this upcoming turbulence is an excellent one – I’m English, but even over here, the headlines regarding it all are too much. I might be taking a page from your book and do the same.

    Our minds were not made to have so much anxiety and so many burdens. I wish peace and calm to you and of course – only the best books!

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    • Thanks for writing, Ness. You’re words are both kind and reassuring. Most folks I’ve told my plan to think it will only last about a week or two. It’s dreadful that then news of American politics is spreading across the globe and terrifying other nations. I remember we felt similarly during Brexit, but not to the same extent. Instead, many of us laughed at how the privileged Brits would have trouble retiring in Italy or Greece or whatever their plan was. Surely, there will be some laughter at my country, too. If things get dire, we’ll send up the ol’ S.O.S. floodlights. In my imagination, it looks like a bat, and Batman actually comes.

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  6. Oh you’ve been so busy! Love all the photos and learning experiences and blackberry frosting! call me very envious about that one! And another horror book club? How do you ever keep track of all of them?

    I’m 100% behind doing what you need to do to take care of your mental health. Gigantic hugs all around!

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    • I have the book club with my mom, the Boozy Book Club, the Spooky Book Club, and I just joined an bi-monthly (er…every other month) Nature Book Club. I also do readings with my spouse, but that is books that help us with our different brains (ADHD vs. Anxiety).

      Thank you for sending your love.

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  8. I don’t think I’ve heard of the Terrifier!

    Love the crawl cake with the gummy gators and the blackberry frosting! Yum! Love how it matched the Dracula book!

    Congrats on winning 2nd place for the trivia! Also, I want one of those jackolantern suckers!

    The Hardest Job in the World – added it to my TBR

    I like your method of dealing with The Next Four Years and support you 100%. I cut cable 2 years ago and have not missed it even once. Luckily we have groups like the ACLU that are already taking action to stop 47 as best they can.

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    • I got rid of cable about thirteen years ago. I noticed I was basically watching Sex and the City reruns, and a lot of Dr. Drew’s rehab show, or whatever it was called. Very depressing. I’ve even cut all streaming that costs money. I use Tubi (and blog about what I watch at screamingforfree.com) and DVDs from the library.

      If you like horror, Terrifier is a must. The 3rd one just came out in theaters in early October, which feels like yesterday.

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  9. Love Love Love your pumpkin/halloween purse. I’m a fan. I think what you’re doing is great, and a really good idea to keep positive. I’m like you in that if we keep being kind and doing the right thing, things will turn out ok. I also really agree with your theory that if stuff gets more expensive that won’t always be a bad thing, because we all shop too much anyway. Heck yes. That’s why I love your thrifting!

    Interesting about the AA being not very religious, they should market that more I think, they’d probably see an uptick in interest LOL

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    • When AA was founded, it was based on Christian principles. However, it has changed since it was first started. In fact, in the US, people with alcohol related crimes can be court mandated to take AA, which always sat with me wrong because I thought it was a religious group, and there’s a separation of church and state to consider.

      My poor mom was sad about the possibility of things getting more expensive, and one thing she lamented were bananas. I told her she lives in Michigan, home of cherries, apples, and blueberries. So many fruits! She was also thinking about buying a new iPhone now before the tariffs hit. My dad told her to simmer down, lol.

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      • bananas. very true. And obviously things getting more expensive is going to be tough for many people. However, I do think we’re getting so spoiled with new clothes all the time, etc. No one tries to repair anything anymore, which is a shame. So, I can see the good and bad side to things, but the rampant consumerism is really destroying the planet. And our self-esteem, honestly

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