Grab the Lapels

Sunday Lowdown #278

Content Warnings: I briefly mention suicide and slurs against gay men.

Tuesday, June 11th, is the first book club I’m going to at the brewery that I mentioned. They chose the book Razorblade Tears by S.A. Cosby, which I added to my 20 Books of Summer list. I started reading it, and it is enigmatic. Cosby obviously knows the characters and cultures about which he is writing, either through research or lived experience or both. Razorblade Tears is extremely violent, and there are loads of slurs, which is part of what the novel is discussing.

Ike is a Black man who spent time in prison for murder. He largely missed the childhood of his son, and when Ike got out of prison, their relationship was toxic. His son came out as gay, and as a hardened felon, Ike had nothing kind to say. Bobby Lee is a white man — stereotypical trailer trash — who spent time in prison for murder. He largely missed the childhood of his son, and when Bobby Lee got out of prison, their relationship was toxic. His son came out as gay, and as a hardened felon, Bobby Lee had nothing kind to say. Deja vu, right? Ike’s and Bobby Lee’s sons were married, and a few months later, both were shot in the head, killed in cold blood. Ike and Bobby Lee team up to find whomever killed their only children and take bloody revenge.

Recently, my spouse and I have been reading a book about self-compassion and self-hate. It’s out-of-date, published in the 1970s, but still has some good points. In fact, it comes up as a top pick when you do a Google search on self-esteem books. A few days ago we read a passage about suicide as a form of self-hate. People like to say once the suicidal person is dead, they are at peace. The author of the book, though, says there is no such thing as peace after death. Once you’re dead, you have no more experiences.

Therefore, I’m reading about Ike and Bobby Lee, both traumatized that their last encounters with their sons — in fact, their entire lives — were vile, hateful homophobic exchanges. I get the feeling the author is trying to make readers warm up to Ike and Bobby Lee because they are willing to burn it to the ground for their sons, defending their sons’ love, their homosexuality, and their lives, all because Ike and Bobby Lee are suffering from profound grief.

I thought for a moment about Lolita, which is told from the perspective of the villain, Humbert Humbert. He’s so persuasive in his logic about why Lolita, a girl, is his to possess that you almost find yourself understanding, perhaps almost agreeing. With Razorblade Tears, it’s easy to pump your fist when that first guy goes into the wood chipper because Ike and Bobby Lee love their sons so much. But is violence the solution to grief? Do I agree with real-life violence? Violent revenge in lieu of any kind of loving parent-child relationship might be eagerly celebrated when a person only hears a limited perspective. I see it — the warping through limited perspectives — happening in my own country, community, and school, which is why I try to resist through education and advocacy.

On Saturday I attended a three-hour workshop about interpreting for the D/deaf 2SLGBTQIA+ community. We discussed when interpreters are given information about an interpreting job, it may simply say “medical” and the date, time, and location. A British sign language interpreter often joins this host’s workshops, and the BSL interpreter said they, too, receive the barest of information, so they were surprised to show up to the medical appointment and interpret an appointment about gender affirming care. When we hear/read “medical,” most of us are going to think “check up.” Interpreters need their minds in the right place to do a good job.

I don’t feel sorry for Ike and Bobby Lee; I feel sorry for their dead sons who had no fathers. Occasionally, S.A. Cosby interjects a conversation in which Ike and Bobby Lee realize they would kill someone like their sons for being gay, or at least harass them, call them slurs, etc. I’m hoping the novel concludes with these grieving fathers seeing the enemy is inside the house.

Because some folks asked, I did go to the cat cafe with the lady who has the same last name as me from the library. We talked about books and movies. She seems like a quiet, thoughtful person. While I was there, a cat sat on my lap; unfortunately, it was the cat that was a military tank in its past life, because boy howdy, this was a seriously heavy cat.

Our next plan is to read Flowers in the Attic together. She seems to like thriller/mystery novels, and I’m happy to have someone vet those for me — there are so many. I told her any thriller/mystery that has one of these two plots is never a book I’ll pick up: a white woman with the perfect husband, house, child, and job has a secret, but maybe everyone has a secret. Dun dun DUN!

Or, white woman is running from something awful that happened twenty years ago, but now something has happened (usually the police find a dead body that somehow connects to the woman’s past) that brings it all back to her. Dun dun DUN! I told this to New Library Friend, and she started giving me recommendations of books she likes, so I’m stoked to have someone vetting the thriller/mystery genre for me.

Lastly, I’ll add that I get tired of explaining why “disability porn” makes me so angry. Examples: person who uses a wheelchair gets up and walks on his wedding day, or infant gets a cochlear implant and reacts to a noise that everyone assumes is joy over hearing their parent for the first time, etc. So, I was thrilled to pieces when I saw a little blind girl empowered by her mother to use a walking stick to get to her grandparents’ house. I have literally watched this 60 second video a dozen times in the last twelve hours. I love that her mother asks her questions to develop the little girl’s confidence.

15 comments

    • Wooooooow, I never thought of the term “gun porn” before, but it does make a lot of sense. The gun is always the solution, and it’s always titillating, that sort of thing. I once watched a documentary — I believe a Michael Moore film, perhaps Bowling for Columbine — in which a tween boy, obsessed with shoot-em-up games, wants to shoot a real gun. He is allowed to do so, and it scares him so badly that he stands there and quietly sobs.

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  2. So you haven’t finished that novel yet? I look forward to hearing about it more and about how the bookclub goes. It doesn’t really sound like my cup of tea must say but reading your discussion of it is well worthwhile. I hate the very concept of revenge violent or otherwise and I’m perturbed to hear a certain ex and would be president of yours starting to talk about exacting revenge if he is re-elected.

    Thanks for the follow up on the cat cafe meeting. I hope it turns into a good flesh (or IRL or face-to-face) friendship for you.

    As for disability porn I have to think more about that. I feel there are degrees and I certainly think there should be sensitivity about how such stories are told, but you won’t be surprised to hear that I find it hard to see a positive story about cochlear implant, for example, as intrinsically wrong.

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    • I just finished the novel today and felt emotionally devastated that it was done. Now that Bill pointed out it is basically gun porn, I feel a bit ashamed, but it’s part of my culture, I suppose. Actually, in the case of Razorblade Tears, guns are not used often; it’s a lot of knives, wood chippers, gardening tools, vehicles, and fists.

      I’m coming to realize that cochlear implants seem an awful lot like dieting. They don’t work long term for most people, but every time they do work for one person, hope is renewed for all. They have horrible side effects. I’ve met people who have had two cochlear implantations, and both failed, despite the person having some hearing with which to work. It is also an invasive surgery done largely on children without their consent. The risks include the device getting infected, dizziness, imbalance, tinnitus getting worse, cerebrospinal fluid leak, long-term pain, and facial paralysis. If the person had any hearing whatsoever, it is all destroyed during the surgery. People who have gotten CI report that they do not hear like hearing people; everything sounds mechanical or robotic. The device that attaches with a magnet cannot get wet. Static electricity can damage it. They’re prohibitively expensive. Fun fact: they may have problems setting off metal detectors and have issues caused by cell phones and computer systems.

      If an adult wants a CI, go for it. Be informed, give consent. They are not intrinsically wrong, but it is not ethical, to me, to perform such surgery on a non-consenting child just because they are considered the property and responsibility of their parents.

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      • I don’t think Razorblade tears is for me, whatever sort of porn it is!

        As for CI, I guess I don’t know a lot about it so I will just add what you’ve said to my back off knowledge and keep my ear out for more.

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  4. I’ve heard Cosby’s books are well-written but they sound too violent for me. Which is fine – plenty other books to read!

    Cat cafe! Tank -like cat! New friend! That is all wonderful. 🐱 I’ve never been to a cat cafe before because I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to not come home with a cat.

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    • I think having the cats at the cafe is nice because when you want one-on-one time with a cat, there they are. If I try to get my cat to hang with me, she may not want to. Also, the lady I went with doesn’t own cats anymore. She said she had two, but as they got older they started having accidents all over the house, and it was….a lot.

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  5. Wow that sounds like a violent book. Interesting comparison to Lolita. I hope the author ends up having the fathers realize they are part of the problem and no amount of avenging their sons’ deaths will make it right since they were never there for their sons when they were alive. I bet however the book ends, the group discussion will be interesting at least!

    Yay for the cat cafe! Have you never read Flowers in the Attic? I sucked down all those books when I was in junior high. They were all the rage back then, mostly because of the sex I’m pretty sure. I am looking forward to hearing what you think of it.

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    • The book does end violently, and as it goes on, the fathers come to understand some of LGBTQ+ culture. They realize they it’s not for them to “get” someone else’s life because it would make them more comfortable. The fathers, without a doubt, know that revenge would not be approved by their sons, that they are doing it for themselves.

      I have never read Flowers in the Attic, though I remember a woman, who told me she was in her 80s, said I should read it even though it has a lot of “sex stuff.”

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  7. Very thoughtful post. And you’re so right, when you’re reading a book and the writing is good you can be convinced of almost anything. It’s not until you close the book and really think about it you’re like ‘wait, violence isn’t the answer, and these Dads are terrible’

    I love that a cat jumped up on your lap – Makita is also a tank, in fact she’s so big that she’s startled some people in our house, they didn’t realize she was a cat at first. She’s very long, which doesn’t help.

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    • I would like to think I’m not led astray from my values easily, but I think diving into fiction really makes me think I’m in a different world. I mean, if I’m thinking about how I would do things differently in a werewolf novel, then yeah, I’m INVOLVED.

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