Grab the Lapels

Sunday Lowdown #245

THIS WEEK IN REFLECTION

It’s getting to be normal that I write the Sunday Lowdown on Sunday, so I guess all the Aussie friends are going to have to get used to my Monday Lowdown. A number of school events happen all day Saturday or Sunday around noon, so the Lowdown just gets pushed back.

Friday was Nick’s 41st birthday, which was not planned in any way. Because ADHD causes choice paralysis, sometimes he doesn’t know what to do with himself. However, because he has impulse control problems, which often crop up at Goodwill and garage sales, I got him a “coupon” that says he can spend up to $50 on impulse buys, and I will not nix the idea. He was so excited.

I went to bed early Friday night because we’d both gotten our COVID shots (the new variant shot, not a booster), so I was tired. To be fair, I’d also had two allergy shots and a total body skin check at the dermatologist, so I was worn out in general. However, Nick met online (dressed as a banana) with his friends to play poker and didn’t come to bed until 1:30AM. So, I guess it was a good birthday. I’m not trying to make Nick sound like a weirdo.

If you’re ever unsure of what kind of person I am, just know that this past week I was sitting in my car, eating lunch while listening to a horror podcast, when I opened my can of soda, and it spritzed all over the steering wheel. So, I took off my shoe, then my sock, used my sock to clean off the steering wheel, and put my sock and shoe back on.

Saturday night we went to the wedding of a young woman in my interpreting cohort. She and her husband actually married last year, just before he was deployed in the Marines. This was the wedding part. I’d never been to a wedding like hers, and it made me rethink what the point of a wedding is. My assumption was you get married and then you party. You better have a good party, and someone better make a fool of themselves before the night is over. However, her wedding had the traditional vows and then dinner. It was a dry wedding, but they had a coffee bar, so I was pumped. Everyone in the wedding party made long speeches about the value of the people getting married.

The bride’s dad gave a speech about how they struggled for so long to have a baby, sharing personal information that surprised me. He confessed his wife said you can’t talk about miscarriages at a wedding, but the point was how much the bride was wanted and loved when she came into the world. And then the bride gave a speech about her dad, something I’ve never seen at a wedding. Next, they danced. The same happened with the groom and his mom. I was curious as to why they didn’t parent swap (the groom with the bride’s mom, the bride with the groom’s dad).

Overall, I’d never been to a wedding that really, truly focused on celebrating how much people love each other, and that two families are joining together. There was no dancing, drinking, “partying,” etc. Although this wedding format was new to me, I found it incredibly meaningful. Even wedding cakes are changing; perhaps I’ve arrived at that point in life when people say, “Wow, how times have changed”?

IT DIDN’T MAKE IT TO GRAB THE LAPELS

Tried this 90-page collection of Indigenous horror out, and while there were nuggets of good ideas, sometimes the “edgy” parts weren’t earned (hence why I call them “edgy” instead of “scary”). I just learned author Shane Hawk is the co-editor of a book I just added to the TBR, Never Whistle at Night. Perhaps his discernment of what is good is better than his early writing? I’m rooting for him!

THIS WEEK’S BLOG POST

What a fun little romp A Nun in the Closet by Dorothy Gilman was. Several of you were interested in reading it, and I hope you find a copy. Mine is so old, and from a Goodwill. However, oblivious nuns who are determined to do good once they learn from a group of PhD holders who became social rights activists/hippies makes for a fun read.

NEXT WEEK’S BLOG POST

Okay, we’re going from slightly spooky cozy mystery to full-on, hard-core horror. It’s graphic, it makes you queasy, it’s perfect for people who are a little tired of jump scares and more thrilled with Patrick Bateman . . . and Disney. Ha, you’ll just have to wait and see what I mean. It’s Maeve Fly by CJ Leede, and the review is Wednesday.

BOOKS I BOUGHT

Books I paid for (that are not textbooks) since January 2023: totaling $43.28

BOOKS ADDED TO THE TBR PILE

Definitely going to wait until my library gets the audiobook of . . .

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Published by Grab the Lapels

I'm a graduate of the MFA fiction writing program at the University of Notre Dame, which inspired me to follow along with trends in teaching, publishing, and reviewing. I also have an MA and BS from Central Michigan University. I used to teach composition, creative writing, and literature in higher education, then did a brief stint at a civic theater, followed by two years at a references desk at a public library. I'm now working toward my ASL Interpreter license.

37 comments

  1. Happy birthday Nick!

    I was going to get the new COVID vaccine at the end of September but my clinic didn’t have it yet and now I’m getting my flu shot this week so am waiting at least another week or two before the COVID shot because vaccines usually knock me out for a day or two. James got his though and like you was really tired for about 24 hours and then was fine.

    The wedding sounds great! And your dress looks super cute!

    Speaking of horror, have you ever watched a movie called Ready or Not? It’s from 2019. As a non-horror person, this actually looks like fun to me, sort of dark humor? And I’m thinking of watching it Halloween weekend for seasonal appropriate fun. Unless you’ve seen it and tell me, Stef, this is not as funny as the trailer makes it seem, don’t watch it because it will give you nightmares 🙂

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    • I kept trying to get an appointment at Costco, where we get many vaccines, but they didn’t have any. Then, when I was getting my weekly allergy shots I told the nurse what was up, and that I had read we should get COVID shots in Oct according to the CDC, she informed me we could get them there at the Notre Dame clinic for free.

      I was surprised after I saw the photo just how excellently fall season Nick and I look!

      I love Read or Not. It IS funny, but it’s also gory. The plot is a wealthy family got all their money when their ancestor made a deal with the devil. They would become rich selling games, but they are required to play a game every time someone marries into the family. The devil chooses the game. It may be Solitaire, it may be checkers, it may be “ready or not.” Which, is basically a really fun set up to do human sacrifices. However, the newlywed must be sacrificed before the sun comes up. So, can you do some gore, even if it’s funny gore? That is the question.

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      • Well then it’s probably good my clinic didn’t have it in September. I’m going to try and go next week on Friday so I have the weekend to recover.

        Funny gore is ok. I think I might be able to do Ready or Not! Yay!

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        • Back in 2020, Nick researched how to get ready for the COVID vaccine, and he happened upon Pedialyte. It was highly recommended to avoid negative side effects. Every time we’ve chugged a Pedialyte the night before, and all 5x neither of us have had negative side effects from which we needed to prepare ourselves. I mean, maybe an extra nap, but that’s it. Who doesn’t like naps?

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          • Interesting. Electrolytes/being well hydrated is certainly a good thing, but I’m not sure how that could keep one from getting aches and chills. Coincidence maybe? Whatever the case, naps are always good! 🙂

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  2. Monday Lowdown is fine by me.

    I was extraordinarily tired after my vaccination last month. But a good afternoon sleep saw me right.

    Nick’s birthday sounds perfect for him and that’s what matters.

    Loved your description of that wedding. They sound like a thoughtful couple. But, what do you mean that wedding cakes are changing?

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  5. Happy birthday Nick!

    That sounds like a lovely wedding. I’ve been to a few dry weddings, including one where after the ceremony we all just walked up the road to the local Chinese restaurant for lunch, and one where we all went round to the bride’s family’s house for a barbeque. Since I’m not a big drinker, I actually much prefer it – being around lots of drunk people if you’re sober is no fun. The Christian weddings I’ve been to (as in, the couple is devout, rather than the wedding just being held in a church) are often much more focused on the fact that the couple love each other and are now being joined together to create a new family. I’ve always found the lack of that really odd in secular weddings, where there is much more of a focus on the party, as you say.

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    • I hate to say it, Lou, but I think I’ve only been to the weddings in a church that end in a party, so it seriously never occurred to me. To think this is something you’ve experienced before! I’m more aware, now, that’s for sure, and now I have ideas for an anniversary party in the future.

      You’re right about drunk people making a mess of themselves when you’re sober. I mean, they’d be a mess regardless, but they’re extra obvious when you’re not drinking.

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  6. I would agree with Lou’s comment that often religious weddings are more focused on the couple’s relationship (and are more likely to be dry!) I’m always surprised when I go to weddings where the actual ceremony is only about 10 minutes long.

    Happy birthday to Nick! But why was he dressed as a banana??

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    • Oh lordy, our wedding was about 10 minutes long, LOL. Reason? I loved him, we signed a contract in front of all our homies (er, family), and then we walked right over to the reception hall to have dinner and dance and whatnot.

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      • Haha, ours was almost an hour! I wanted the full traditional church service – we sang hymns, there were readings, Peter and I took communion. I know some of our guests were surprised but many of them were used to religious weddings so I don’t think it seemed too out of place.

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        • This wedding had communion in a way I’d never seen before; they drank wine from single use cup thingies that were sealed already. I used to just lap up the germs from everyone in front of me in Catholic church. Oof. I even told my Deaf professor about how frequently there is some eucharist floating in the wine because you get the eucharist first but not enough time to chew and swallow it, so losing bits is common.

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          • Did the cup have a single wafer wrapped on top? That’s what our church now uses. I think they became popular during covid because everything is self-contained for one person. I grew up with a communal cup and I do love the symbolism of it but don’t know if I could do it now. Anywhere I’ve seen a communal cup there is also an option of individual (unsealed) cups too. I’ve also been in churches where everyone dips the bread in the wine. At our wedding only Peter and I took communion so we shared a cup but there is a lot of variety in how a church can do it!

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  7. Happy birthday Nick, and I love the coupon idea! We do this thing, Bank of Matthew (for me) and Bank of Liz (for Matthew). I tend to give him a bunch of money in one go as what if I suddenly go bankrupt (I mean, I know that won’t happen but you never know) and he has an ongoing spreadsheet he adds an amount to. Then basically through the year I say “Hey I bought this Books are My Bag bag and it’s more expensive than I thought so can I have it on Bank of Matthew?” and he repays me or buys the thing for me. We do it birthdays and Christmas, and because he is Oct and I am Jan it spreads the joy through the year.

    That wedding sounds lovely and like some I’ve been to. Matthew’s brothers was quite “two families combine” although her family had lots of people from groups they were in. Ours was very simple and small but concentrated on joining us together in front of our close friends; I had a cup of tea rather than a fizzy wine at our lunch though we had a drink later.

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  8. All the stories that you told about yourself and Nick in this post reminded me of a) how practical and b) how resourceful you both are. If you can’t dress up as a banana when you turn 41, when can you? I love people who don’t take themselves too seriously, because you are truly having the most fun at this thing called life.

    That wedding sounds quite lovely, and because I don’t drink, I’m all for a fancy coffee bar!

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  9. NICK IS A WEIRDO AND ONE OF US. ONE OF US. ONE OF US. *Throws tampons*
    I don’t know why but the image of him in a banana costume while playing poker brings me great joy. He’s not one of the herd and that is what makes him great. Happy birthday Nick! ❤

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