Grab the Lapels

Sunday Lowdown #233

THIS WEEK IN REFLECTION

Well. Things took a turn with Toadman. On Tuesday he was right in the way for me to pull into the garage, so like I did in the past, I put the car in park, went and got him, got back in the car, and tried pull in. Only this time, once we were in the car he pissed all over me. And then he pissed all over the car door. I was not aware that toads could pee so much and so hard (yes, I was aware they peed on people). The weird part was it was freezing, which is when Nick kindly reminded me toads, and hence their piss, are cold blooded. I threw the car in park and opened the door to get Toadman OUT.

Evidence of Toadman being gentlemanly.

Truly, I felt awful that I didn’t respect the autonomy of an animal. I anthropomorphized this creature to the extent that I was giving it car rides. And now he’s missing. Indeed, I have not seen Toadman since shots were fired. If he were just gone, okay, but he’s gone likely because he now perceives the garage to be an unsafe place, and that hurts. It’s a lesson learned.

Toadman IN the garage door without a care in the world about being yeeted from the ceiling if someone pushes the button.

The next morning Nick left for Minnesota for a conference, so most of the week it’s been no Nick, and no Toadman. When the spouse leaves, it’s a good idea to find something to do. I mean, sure, I sat up reading and watching horror until 1:00AM, scaring myself to bits and texting people who have to work in the morning for spooky support. I also baked cookies at 11PM. Basically, I start living like a raccoon when Nick isn’t here. Who brushed my hair? Not me, that’s for sure!

I developed a game plan: I got a bunch of coupons for coffee places in the weekly junk mail, so I went to try them out. Having a reason to put on pants is 70% what being an adult is about. Thursday was a coffee house/plant-centric/dusty library for homeschooling. The owners are Christians who graduated from my current university, and I knew about their cafe because when I worked at the library, it was described as a wholesome alternative for homeschooling parents.

What I mean is they want “classics” for children, not what the library has. I can appreciate that adults want their children to read Heidi and be innocent forever, but they also had a history section with books that look much like the covers Bill shares from his boyhood collection. It’s up to parents to make the best educational decisions for their children and prepare them for the world as it is and what it could be, so I’m not going to judge based on what I saw plus some assumptions. I’ll be snarky, but not judgey. I will say their coffee is fantastic and the food is fresh and reasonably priced. Unfortunately, I ate whole-fat havarti, and there was a cheese incident.

Me trying to beat a storm home. I actually saw the rain coming, pounding down on my neighbor’s horse barn as I unlocked the door to the house and tumbled in.

Friday it was a fancy coffee place that hires people with disabilities and… also sells furniture?? I could tell what I was allowed to sit on, but the customer area had nothing but hard little metal chairs. I did not stay long, and I won’t be back. The funny thing is this fancy place brews coffee beans locally and sends them to the homeschooling cafe, so the coffee is good, but the setting is not. I ate lunch at home and added leftovers from a charcuterie board, something I never buy, so there was a second cheese incident. My guts had no clue what was going on with my trash panda choices.

Saturday I headed to my last coffee destination, a place I know, and re-read some of the prophets stuff in the Bible. It feels like each guy is saying the same thing, but one little detail will be added in. And, of course, the one little detail is what appears on the exam. Basically, the Lord says he’s going to smoke everyone soon but then he will make it better, PLUS (choose only one!):

  • scattered bones
  • a fish
  • stop lying about measuring the grain wrong
  • a plumb line
  • someone named Cyrus
  • enough with the animal sacrifice because you don’t really mean it
  • the women sashay too much so let’s shave their heads and steal their jewellery

Truly, I spent a chunk of the week trying to piece together the historical context for the Book of Isaiah.

#20BOOKSOFSUMMER

Since not all of my books are appropriate to review on Grab the Lapels (i.e., I have several authors who identify as men on my list), I’ll give you a couple of sentences of each that I read.

This week: I finished Whisper by Yu-Ko Chang with Roddy Flagg (Translator). Set in Taiwan, with the political ghost of mainland China and Japanese colonization coloring everything, a woman starts hearing a voice saying it’s going to kill her and her daughter. Each scene in this novel was excellent, but everyone in my book club agreed that together, it did not add up, which is a weird experience.

Whisper was #10 in the #20BooksofSummer challenge

THIS WEEK’S BLOG POST

The Private Life of Mrs Sharma by Ratika Kapur looks like a novel about the decision to have an affair, but it’s set in modern India with a real savviness about work, money, dreams, and physical desires. Oftentimes, when I’m reading an Indian novel, I get the sense that I’m reading something from 100 years ago. Not the case here, nor was this really a book about an affair. Mrs Sharma isn’t what she seems at first, but who is she? Sadly, only one reader made it to this review! Perhaps folks will circle back around to it.

NEXT WEEK’S BLOG POST

Cathy @ 746 books noted that we are at the halfway mark for #20BooksofSummer, and I just finished #10. So, come Wednesday I’m going to look back at what I’ve read so far and how it’s going, especially with that rather angsty beginning I had.

BOOKS I BOUGHT

Books I paid for (that are not textbooks) since January 2023:

  • True-Biz by Sara Novic ($1) — READ
  • Rants from the Hill by Michael P. Branch ($1) — READ
  • The Mammoth Book of Haunted House Stories, edited by Peter Haining ($1.50)
  • What Looks Like Crazy on an Ordinary Day by Pearl Cleage ($0.79) — READ
  • Ecology of a Cracker Childhood by Janisse Ray ($0.79)
  • All of Me by Venise Berry ($0.99)
  • Planet Earth books from Time Life ($4.00 for 7 books) — READING
  • North American Wildlife by Susan J. Wernert ($0.50) — READING
  • Your Dog is in The Bar by Celia Rensch Day ($o.79) — READING
  • Sybil by Flora Rheta Schreiber ($0.50) — RECYCLED
  • Witches’ Brew, edited by Alfred Hitchcock ($0.50)
  • At Wit’s End by Erma Bombeck ($0.50)
  • To Be Honest by Maggie Anne Martin ($0.50)
  • The Summer of Jordi Perez (and the Best Burger in Los Angeles) by Amy Spalding ($0.50)
  • Young Matriarch by Karen Patterson ($10.69)
  • The Complete Tales of Mystery and Imagination/The Raven and Other Poems by Edgar Allan Poe ($6)

Running Cost: $30.55

BOOKS ADDED TO THE TBR PILE

Thanks to Lou for her recommendations in comments!

41 comments

  1. You should have emailed me and I would have sent you a photo of shelves of wholesome last century (and the one before) children’s books. Australia is currently having conniptions about a s#x advisory book for teenagers that mentions stuff that weird adults get all excited about -Welcome to S#x by Yumi Stynes & Dr Melissa Kang

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    • Wait, is it called S#x or are you censoring yourself? Cuz you can say sex on this blog.

      I don’t know if folks like you and Lou know how funny you are, but the two of you have me in stitches, and I’m not even sure if you mean to.

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        • Ohhhh. The trolls appear wherever there is oxygen they can use up. Plus, I have my blog set up so that anyone who has never commented before must have at least one comment approved before they can keep commenting unrestricted. That keeps out a lot of weirdness.

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  2. Oh no, did I miss this week’s post. Well, yes, I now remember I did because I caught up with the week’s before, didn’t I?

    I do hope Toadman reappears because s/he realises you meant well. I put great store on good intentions!

    Your cafe stories were fascinating but certainly weird. Some homeschooling I understand but much is concerning. I do worry about children being brought up outside the culture they live in. For that reason I’m not much of a supporter of elite private schools either, which are a big bone of contention over here.

    As for Isaiah, your analysis of the prophets made me laugh and that’s about all I can say. I just remember scattered stories.

    Oh, and fascinated to see you have a Krissy Kneen book in your list.

    Have a good week. Keep wearing pants and you’ll be ok!

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    • You’re moving, so you have a lot going on! I’m in the same boat with being busy, so I’ve switched tactics. I read other people’s blog posts when I’m eating cereal or waiting in line instead of looking at Reddit like I used to. Then, I’ll use voice to text to get down a reply without fussing over all that texting business that I hate. Why does my phone put in the wrong word and then ask me if I want to change it to the correct word? Phone, just cooperate!

      As sad as the Toadman situation is, I think it was an excellent lesson in remembering that animals have their own wants. I see the message constantly when I watch the TV show My Cat From Hell. The cat behaviorist has to remind some folks that they can’t kiss their cat on the head, or carry it like a baby, or even pet it all the time.

      I absolutely 100% believe in public schools as the cornerstone of democracy. I also wonder if I could be involved with schools more despite not having kids. I know there is the PTA but the P in that stands for PARENT. What about invested tax payer?

      I love that you laughed over my description of the prophets because it’s not even hyperbole! I’ve reached the New Testament in which Jesus seems to be saying “yes, and” to the Laws given to Moses.

      I follow an Australian fat activist on Goodreads, so I see the latest in fat lit through her. I love that the Kneen is a memoir about her turning to burlesque. I haven’t read her other memoirs, one of which is about her sex addiction.

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  3. Oh, no! Toadman, come home! Also, I assume Nick wandered back at some point?

    God being Very Angry about people mis-measuring grain reminds me of Tumblr’s favorite lousy Babylonian copper merchant, Ea-Nasir, who is the subject of the world’s oldest known customer complaint. He sold some low quality copper, and someone was angry enough that they had a cuneiform tablet made to preserve their complaint, and the thing survived all this time.

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    • hahaha, I love that it’s Toadman “come home” and Nick “wander back” instead of vice versa!

      Kim, I think I’ve heard of this complaint tablet but completely forgot about it! It just confirms that no one wants to ripped off, nor have they ever been cool with higgledy piggledy measurements.

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  4. Oh no! I’m so sorry Toadman went away. Maybe he’s just off on a business trip like Nick and will be back soon. I hope so because I love him! Also, I feel you. When Ben is away, I don’t know what to do with myself. Trying out coffee shops sounds fun. I’ve been doing that as a way to get myself out of the house during the workday rather than sit at home working.

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    • I remember you saying that you even have set hours during which you work at a cafe to get stuff done. I can’t remember if it’s PhD work or lesson planning work. Or both! When I was still teaching I would want to leave home so I could focus on grading, but then I would be out and want to go home. I think I had so much anxiety and a lack of support then that I was basically unhappy wherever I was. I do miss teaching and think about doing a class once in a while. I have a standing offer with my current school to teach there, but every time I get a part-time job, the lovely readers of this blog chew me out for “farting around” when I should just be a student. Like, some folks actually get distressed about this, which tells me how deeply loved I am.

      Another friend asked me if Toadman went out of town with Nick because there is no conference; it’s really boys’ weekend.

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  5. OK you get my respect for even touching a toad. We seem to have some in our pond in the garden – I encountered one when trying to clear some weeds away. Not sure whether it was me or the toad that moved the fastest…….

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    • Oh, Karen! Hahahah, if you just boop their little heads, you’ll see it’s not so bad! Now, getting one into the car is where we should draw the line to respect the toad’s wishes.

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  8. Oh, I hope you enjoy both the Stewart (one I haven’t read yet) and the Paralkar! Talking about the latter in comments reminded me that he has an earlier novel that I’ve never read, so that has gone on my to-read list.

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  9. Hopefully Toadman is just pouting somewhere as a method of punishing you for your boldness with his body autonomy. Your raccoon life while Nick was away cracked me up. I hope your intestines have forgiven you for the cheese.

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  10. Cursed Bunny looks like it could be a horror, or literary novel. Maybe a bit of both?

    I’m sure Toad will return eventually. Don’t beat yourself up about anthromorphasizing (sp?) too much, at your core you were just trying not to hit him with your car, your intentions were good!!!

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  11. I think we are reading some of the same parts of the Bible! This year I’m reading through the Bible chronologically and even having read the Bible through before, it’s helping a lot in understanding how different events relate to each other and who was around at the same time, especially the prophets. One important thing about the book of Isaiah is that although there is tons of destruction there is always what is referred to as the remnant. Meaning God never destroys the Israelites completely. He always wants to find a way to save them, even when they’re totally screwing up. There are some beautiful passages in the book too about wrongs being set right eventually.

    I really like your idea of visiting different coffee shops while Nick is away!

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    • Next summer I’ll be taking two semester of the Bible, OT and then NT. I think one thing throwing me off right now is we skip some of the “boring” parts because the class is only fundamentals of Christianity. There isn’t time to read the WHOLE Bible. But that also means that I didn’t realize God was living in a tent in the desert during Moses’s time because we skipped all the chapters on how to construct this thing. Later, I learned that the new tent that David (I think) had constructed had imagery of the Garden of Eden, but we skipped that tent building section, too.

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      • I kind of get that because there is a lot in the OT (and a decent amount of repetition) but reading it as a whole I’ve also come to learn why so much of that stuff is included. God’s presence with the people of Israel is a pretty important theme and the building of the tabernacle (tent) and then later the temple is a pretty big part of the OT. Then later Jesus talks about the temple and describes himself as a replacement for the temple and understanding that requires some understanding of how important the temple and what it represented was to the people.

        (David wanted to build the temple but God told him it wasn’t to be done by him and so David’s son Solomon was the one who actually built it.)

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          • David is such a great character because he’s often like a very eager puppy. He’s so eager to do good – he’s dancing, he’s fighting, he’s playing instruments. He’s very impulsive and he gets it wrong a lot. He’s very led by his emotions which doesn’t usually serve him well but he always comes back to searching after what God wants. And God has to get him to settle down a few times.

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