It’s true; sometimes I miss teaching, especially when I am in a classroom environment. I watch as the professor orchestrates a room full of eager (and not so eager) minds, thinking, “Yeah, I used to do that.” Therefore, at some point, I noticed a book called F in Exams: The Very Best Totally Wrong Test Answers by Richard Benson and realized I could get some of the best bits of teaching — which are often the funny moments — in book form, rather than subjecting myself to a whole semester of the ups and downs. Just to be clear, I’m not looking to teach.
F in Exams is described as “…hilarious, real responses from students who realized that they had no hope of answering a question correctly, and decided to have a little fun instead.” I didn’t give much in the way of knowledge tests as a professor because my focus was rhetoric and writing, but I do remember funny answers, such as the student who pronounced “anecdote” as “antsy-dotal.” Benson divides the book into categories of answers, like biology, math, and history. Here are two examples of what you would read:
Q: What is a census?
A: During the census a man goes from door to door and increases the population.
Q: Explain what is meant by the term “pastoral farming.”
A: It’s a farm run by reverends.
Now, I’m not 100% sure these answers were designed to be funny because I have so many examples from personal experience that were unintentionally funny. From my time working in a writing center, I remember a student writing that lava can be “vicious” with no clue as to why I laughed.
The book itself looks like a student’s notebook, with lined paper and handwritten answers to typed questions. Overall, it takes about 30 minutes to finish the whole thing, so if you’re looking for something to make you laugh because you’ve been too serious (or are in the depths of despair), please grab F in Exams to help you shift your mood. That’s why I read it.
Grab the Lapels 
My son loved this book when he was in high school, and you remind me of the best parts of reading it (I got much of it out loud, from him).
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It’s too funny not to turn to the person next to you and share! And I noticed this author has other books in the same style. There is “F for Effort” and tons of dad joke books, mom joke books, etc. He’s like a little powerhouse of silliness. There is a memoir, too, called The Farm.
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Haven’t read the whole book, but I’ve read bits from it and laughed out loud. Many years ago there were a couple of “essays” making the rounds composed of all the wrong answers. One was history and one was literature. The best sort of madlibs 🙂
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You’re the second person to write that they have interacted with this book in some way. I didn’t know it existed until it randomly popped up somewhere. And it looks like this guy publishes constantly.
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I’ve thumbed through this book before – it’s lots of fun!
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That makes you the third person who’s encountered this book. Now. I’m just wondering if everybody’s been reading Richard Benson, and I’m late to the game.
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To be fair, I’ve worked in bookstores for nearly 20 years so I’ve flipped through a lot of books in my life!
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When I was in the first grade, I had to write a report on the state of Hawaii. The teacher asked me if I had learned anything else about the state after I had finished reading my report to the class. I replied “Hawaii is honest.” Full stop. She asked what I meant and I, not really understanding what it meant, replied “Well, I read in the encyclopedia that it doesn’t lie on the mainland.” She looked confused for a moment before it clicked and she busted out laughing. I was so confused. I didn’t realize that I had unknowingly made my standup comedy debut, but I learned two things that day. I learned that some words have multiple meanings and that sometimes the wrong answer can still be a good one.
I think I’ll be reading this book.
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There are a bunch of these Richard Benson books at our library, available through Hoopla, I believe, honey. Also, how is this the first time I’m hearing the Hawaii story?? That is so painfully cute! You are adorable, then and now. What’s really funny about your comment is that multiple meaning words is something we discuss all the time in interpreting. The classic example is the English word “run,” which we use in about 12 different ways. In ASL, there would be 12 different signs.
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Well you’re not the only one to have never encountered this author before, Melanie! But this does sound pretty delightful.
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Whew, that makes two of us. He has tons of books, and this one only took me about 30 minutes to get through the whole thing. I wonder if your library has any of his work. It’s a fun little pick me up.
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I love reading this sort of humour whether intentional, unintentional or made-up by the author. Unintentional I suppose should make me feel guilty about laughing but what they don’t know won’t hurt them will it!
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I did wonder if the author made up these scenarios, but then I realized I didn’t care. Sometimes I see funny videos online, and it makes me sad when people in the comments call it out for being staged. But if I laughed, who cares? Do people think that comedians aren’t standing up there doing a routine they’ve done 100 times before it was filmed for the big special?
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Exactly … if I laugh because someone’s been silly or clever or both, who cares?
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